15 Signs You're In A “Stand-By” Relationship


Partner coming home in wrong moment

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According to recent reports, ⅔ people in relationships or 62% have “back-up” or “stand-by” lovers. What’s a standby lover you ask? A standby lover is “someone on the back burner in case the current relationship doesn’t work out,” and “half of those people admit the person on the back of their mind is someone they used to date”. These relationships can be heartbreaking, where one person wants commitment and something long-term, while the other holds on to the relationship as they search for “the next best thing”. Why would anyone want to be someone else's backup!? A lot of the time, people fail to see the red flags or they are too emotionally invested to accept them. Here’s 15 signs or “red flags” you may be a “back up” or “standby lover” in the relationship:

  1. Relationship continues on one person’s terms
  2. They don’t discuss exclusivity 
  3. They avoid physical intimacy 
  4. They are distracted when with you 
  5. They can’t hang out on weekends
  6. Social media is buzzing with other people
  7. You’ve never met close friends or family
  8. They don’t share personal 
  9. They aren’t emotionally invested
  10. They back out of plans last minute
  11. They compare you to others
  12. Dating becomes expensive 
  13. Small confrontations become dramatic
  14. They tell you something is “missing”
  15. All of this but they can never let you go

Hopefully you are not the “back up” or “stand by” lover but paying attention to these red flags can help you figure out if it’s true love or just a fling of the season. Do you have a back up plan in your relationship or do you think you’re the back up plan? Listen to The Jubal Show below!


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